Trespasser on the Track
Week 3 of 2024 brings a sense of imposter syndrome – and actual imposters…
To see how Sam Pepys spent this week 364 years ago, follow this link.
Just before Christmas, Tito had a blood test to check his thyroid medication. The vet asked me to wait outside because “we find pets are more nervous with their owners in the room.”
5min later, she called me back to say he’d struggled too much to let her get a sample. So I suggested she try with me holding him – and, sure enough, in my arms the Kitten remained calm enough for his bloods to be taken.
Those bloods revealed a need to adjust his medication, which meant we were back for a second check-up at the start of this week. But this time, a different vet was asking us to leave, stating it would be better for the Kitten.
Is it really that crazy to think that a cat might actually feel more secure if his people are around? I should have been more insistent about staying with him – but I wasn’t, and yet again the Kitten panicked after we left. However, this vet wasn’t willing to try with us back in the room, stating that Tito had been through enough.
So Tito’s now booked in for a second attempt next week – meaning he’ll have the trauma of returning for the third time in a month. I’d let the Kitten down. I was a bad cat daddy.
That same evening, while Ermma was out providing make-up for the cast of 9 to 5 at the Cambridge Arts, I attempted to cook for our friends Cherry and Lily. The dish I prepared was a favourite of mine to cook for meat-eating friends, but I’m not sure they’d have known. My vegetarian “hunter’s quicken” came out dark and rubbery.
Cherry and Lily showed no signs of noticing that, though they couldn’t not notice my sudden disappearance of skill with the pancake batter Ermma had left me for their dessert. Even Ermma agrees that I’m an expert tosser, but on this occasion that entendre was very much double. The batter staunchly remained liquid, even though the hob was on full blast!
This was all the more embarrassing because Cherry is an incredible baker, and indeed had come round partly to discuss the amazing cake she’s producing for my book launch party next week. It’ll be book themed, serve 300, and be vegan with a gluten-free layer – making it as accessible as the book.
Thing is, Cherry had a list of questions for me about the event, such as arrival times, entrances, her location in relation to everything else … All details I really should have known, since I’ve been organising the whole shebang.
So, just one day into the week, I already felt like I didn’t actually belong in my own life. My family, friends, work, my favourite foods… I’d failed them all. It therefore felt like karma handed me a metaphor on a platinum plate when my Wednesday morning train from Huntingdon to Manchester was delayed by “trespassers on the tracks”.
My first train was delayed by about 20min, meaning I missed my planned connection at Peterborough. At first, this didn’t seem a big deal: the ticket master at Peterborough found an alternative via Leeds which would still get me to Manchester on time.
But the connection in Leeds was delayed too, this time with the announcement saying, “…due to the presence of emergency services.” Gulp. Consequently, I hit Manchester a whole 10min after the start of the writing workshop I’d been booked to deliver.
However, once there in the offices of Amazon UK, with their European Community Engagement team… Then I was in my element. Everyone told me afterwards they’d found it fun, productive, and useful, and indeed the organiser was so pleased with how it was received that she butted my departing handshake aside for a hug.
So I was on a high as I stepped on the train leaving Manchester, even though it was standing room only. My euphoria heightened even more when I stepped off that train in Doncaster, and saw my connection already waiting for me on the expected platform 10min early. Bonus! Finally seated, I took out my laptop and channelled my jubilation into some of what I actually do best: writing.
Except…
The metaphor won again. While my connection was headed for Kings Cross, it wasn’t the train I boarded for Kings Cross. This one didn’t stop at Peterborough – a fact I didn’t realise until a glance at the clock told me I’d been writing a lot longer than I should have been…
Still, the glow from my well-received workshop radiated throughout the rest of the week. I’m pretty sure that’s why my tutee made several strides with his learning the next day, why my business growth consultancies on Friday seemed especially grateful also, and why Ermma and I enjoyed a thoroughly relaxing Sunday.
Question now is… Will it last unto my book launch party this coming Wednesday?
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